LeAnn Rimes has a new interview with Us Weekly, but it’s not really anything we haven’t heard before. That’s what struck me about it, actually – LeAnn has been using the same phrasing and justifications and explanations for months, like her publicist gave her a list of soundbytes to just use repeatedly. Stuff like: “I was depressed and anxious, and I didn’t know how to process everything,” and “I was… feeling terrible about myself and was disgusted by myself and thought I was pathetic,” and “I’m gonna make mistakes but… I’m proud of who I am now.” We’ve heard variations on those themes for months.
And here’s what I never really thought about: do you think LeAnn ever truly felt “pathetic”? Her actions were never those of a woman who doubted herself or felt depressed or pathetic. Her actions always belied her own confidence in what she was doing was right, that she deserved to have Eddie, that she wanted him and she was going to have him come hell or high water, no matter who else she destroyed along the way. And then after LeAnn “got” Eddie, she behaved as a sore winner, flaunting her prize proudly and loudly, trying to shove her “victory” in Brandi Glanville’s face. Whenever anyone called her out, LeAnn wept and cried… for herself. Because no one understood HER, because everything is always about her and her drama. So, yeah… this is just more of the same:
It wasn’t easy getting there, but LeAnn Rimes is finally — to borrow a phrase from the title of her third album — sittin’ on top of the world. She has a brand-new record, Spitfire; a devoted husband, Eddie Cibrian; and a healthier-than-ever outlook on life, love, and her own self worth, which she valued at next-to-nothing not that long ago.
Speaking to Us Weekly about her tumultuous journey over the last few years, beginning with her 2009 extramarital affair with Cibrian, the “Where I Stood” singer, 30, says she feels like she’s been on “an emotional roller coaster” recently. Last year, that roller coaster led her to seek treatment for anxiety and stress.
“I went in and took care of myself because I was stressed, I was depressed and anxious, and I didn’t know how to process everything,” she explains to Us of her decision to check into an in-patient facility in August 2012, noting that her “whole life has been out there for everyone to judge” since she was just 13 years old. “Going away was something I really needed to do.”
Writing and recording Spitfire helped her realize that, Rimes adds. Though in some ways it was a form of “intensive therapy” on its own, it also brought up some feelings she wasn’t prepared to face.
“I think I opened up the can of worms for myself by writing this record,” she tells Us. “There were a lot of things I didn’t even realize I was feeling…I needed to go somewhere and really process all of that stuff.”
“That stuff,” of course, includes the fallout from her affair with now-husband Cibrian. After Us Weekly broke the news of the Northern Lights costars’ tryst, Rimes hit bottom.
“I was feeling all these crazy emotions and feeling terrible about myself and was disgusted by myself and thought I was pathetic,” she says. (In fact, she uses some of those very words in songs on her new album. “Borrowed,” for example, looks into the darker moments of falling in love with a married man and includes lyrics like, “I don’t want to give you back.”)
These days, though, the country crooner is feeling settled and happy. “Sometimes it takes walking through those tough times to come out the other side stronger and wiser,” she explains to Us. “I’m gonna make mistakes as I move on in life, but that’s who we are, and I’m fortunate that I’ve grown a lot and I’m proud of who I am now…it’s a good place to be.
“I’m the strongest I’ve ever been,” she adds. “I’m the most honest with myself that I’ve ever been, I’m the most secure I’ve ever been about myself and my family, and I’m the most confident I’ve been in a really long time.”
If this is the most confident she’s been in a long time, then prepare yourselves for a rough ride. That means when LeAnn was making everything about her and her self-perpetuating drama machine, that was when her confidence was waning. Do you buy that? I don’t. I also don’t think LeAnn understands something very fundamental about the public backlash against her: it wasn’t just the affair and the “homewrecking” – it was how LeAnn behaved after she “won” Eddie, with the Twitter trolling, whining and Single White Female-ing and much, much more. It was LeAnn trying to “explain” and justify the affair that ruined her image more than the actual affair.
By the way, have you noticed how many creepy Vine videos LeAnn has been doing lately?
Photos courtesy of WENN, LeAnn’s Twitter.
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